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  Caleb eyed Sebastian who half-smiled and then briefly avoided looking at Caleb.

  Caleb’s eyes narrowed, after he saw Sebastian’s face had reddened so he faced Bob and David and pointedly mustered up his phoniest smile. “Sounds amazing. I’m sure you’ll both have a great time covering other gay swimmers, right David? Or are you even out, yet?”

  Chapter 2

  Sebastian followed Caleb into the apartment without saying a word and watched Caleb toe off his shoes, then throw his truck keys on the kitchen counter as Caleb headed to the bedroom. Sebastian swallowed hard, going over in his head what to say. “Caleb, I should’ve told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t,” said Sebastian. “I’d just found out before you arrived.”

  “That’s not the only thing churning my stomach.” Caleb half-turned but didn’t say anything else until he reached the bedroom, and started removing his shirt. “I’m going for a run.”

  “That’s all you have to say?” asked Sebastian.

  Caleb sat on the edge of their bed and removed his dress socks, and then removed his pants. Clad only in black boxer briefs, Caleb stood and rummaged through the dresser for a tank top, cotton socks, and running shorts. As he put his top and shorts on, Caleb broke the momentary silence. “What else is there to say? That…ummm…maybe you should have told me you were engaged?” Caleb took a seat again on the edge of the bed, and drawled out the last word, his eyebrows slightly arched, his jaw set firm. “I knew you had a serious relationship before me.” Caleb raised his hands up, both palms open. “But a serious relationship and an engagement are two different things.”

  Sebastian knew that Caleb was still angry, based on Caleb’s tone and Caleb’s refusal to look him in the eye. “I didn’t tell you I was engaged for only two days because I was embarrassed.”

  Caleb straightened and now squinted at him. “Embarrassed?” Caleb’s voice betrayed incredulity.

  “David broke up with me. I proposed. He said he didn’t love me enough to marry me.”

  “So you proposed to him?” Caleb whispered, who turned away from Sebastian.

  “Yes. I did,” answered Sebastian. “But, he’s in the past.”

  Caleb stood. “I can’t talk about this right now. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you wouldn’t tell me about being engaged before. I mean, to me, that’s a pretty serious commitment. It’s something I would tell you if I’d ever been engaged.”

  “I didn’t think it was a big deal. If I had known you would be upset by it, by the fact that I was engaged for two days, I would have told you. I don’t love him, Caleb. I love you,” blurted Sebastian. “I didn’t know what love truly was until I met you.”

  “Your mom said you were in a pretty serious relationship before me. You said that. Maybe I’m making something out of nothing. Maybe I’m just pissed you’re going to Rio with your ex. I can’t filter all these emotions that are rushing through me right now.” Caleb stood and headed out of the bedroom. “We’re not done talking. But I need to clear my head.”

  Sebastian nodded. “I’ll make dinner, okay? I’ll see you after your run.”

  Caleb didn’t say anything; Sebastian heard the front door close, then Sebastian sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, his hands clasping the top of his head. Somehow, he had to persuade Caleb that David was in the past. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he fished out the cell.

  David had texted him. Nice seeing you. We need to catch up before Rio.

  Sebastian had a choice to make, and he knew it. He just didn’t know what to do. He punched in the contact tab on his phone and called his mom.

  After a few rings, she answered. “Sebastian?”

  “Hey, Mom. How’re you?”

  “I’m good. Your sister just picked up your niece.”

  “Awesome. Is this a good time to talk?” asked Sebastian.

  “Sure, honey. I was about to start dinner but it can wait a few minutes. Why, what’s up?”

  “Did Caleb ask you about David?”

  “Who?” Ginny asked.

  Sebastian repeated the question. “Did Caleb ask you about David?”

  ‘No. Caleb didn’t.”

  “Then how did Caleb know I was engaged?”

  “Oh. I told him.” Ginny’s voice trailed then she spoke again. “Was it supposed to be a secret?”

  “Mom, I hadn’t told him. You know I was pretty upset about the break-up.”

  “I know, honey. And don’t be mad, but I told Caleb that you both shouldn’t rush into getting married.”

  Sebastian’s body tensed. “What?”

  “Don’t raise your voice at me, Sebastian Harry Rush.”

  Sebastian rubbed his temples. “Oh, God. Why, Mom? Why?” He pulled the phone from his ear as he closed his eyes and silently counted to five to calm down.

  “Sebastian, I’m worried that you’re rushing into a wedding. You haven’t even known each other for a year.”

  Sebastian sat there on the edge of the bed. He heard his mother continuing to talk, but he stopped paying attention. She said something about September. Then something about his niece, Mindy. But all he could think about was Caleb sitting in his mother’s living room, and Ginny telling Caleb to delay the wedding. “Mom, I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.”

  “Okay, honey. That’s fine. I got to start dinner anyway. I love you, son. You know I’m only looking out for you, right?”

  “Thanks,” he whispered. He wanted to scream, but he knew it would only make matters worse.

  “Still there?” she asked.

  “Yes.” His voice lower and still rubbing his temples. “I love you, too.”

  She disconnected the call, and Sebastian checked the time on the phone. Caleb had only left a few minutes ago, but it seemed like hours to Sebastian.

  * * * *

  As the buzzer went off, Sebastian finished putting butter on the garlic bread he had pulled out from the convection oven minutes earlier. After he grabbed the potholders, he opened the stove door, and the immediate smell of the blend of meat and cheese struck his nostrils. His stomach growled with approval. Grabbing the dish with covered hands, he laid Caleb’s favorite meal on the Formica counter top, on another set of potholders.

  Sebastian checked the stove’s clock and realized that it’d been almost two hours since Caleb left their apartment. It was then that he regretted putting butter on the bread and wished he had waited until Caleb arrived home from his run.

  Sebastian grabbed the TV remote and turned off the news that played in the background. Sebastian then sent Caleb a text. Dinner’s ready.

  He waited for a second or two, and then started washing the dishes he had placed in the sink. As soon as he started washing one pot, he heard the low buzz of his cell on the kitchen counter. He raised a shoulder, and wiped his itchy nose before he glanced at his phone and saw it was an incoming call from Garrison. Sebastian dried his hands then hit the answer button, followed by the speaker. “Hey, Garr. What’s up?”

  “Caleb’s here if you’re looking for him.”

  “Is he headed over? I’ve got dinner ready.”

  “Oh, yeah? What’s for dinner?” asked Garrison.

  “His favorite: lasagna.” Sebastian laughed. “Want to come over?”

  “Nah. Cujo’s taking a piss break and then we’re back at it with World of Warcraft. Although by the looks of it, maybe Cujo’s taking a poop break.”

  Before Sebastian could speak, he heard a voice in the background. “Who you talking to?”

  “Finally. I thought you fell in the toilet,” said Garrison.

  “Who’s on the phone?” asked Cujo.

  “Sebastian,” answered Garrison, whose voice sounded muffled, as if he moved the phone away.

  “You tell him that Caleb’s on his fourth or fifth bottle of hard lemonade, already?”

  “No, but thanks to you, I’m sure he heard,” said Garrison. Sebastian heard Garr clear his throat. “You heard, right?” asked Garrison who spoke directly on the cell.


  “Yeah. How long’s Caleb been there?”

  “About an hour. He came in from his run.”

  Sebastian slouched against the kitchen counter as he continued. “He tell you anything?”

  “Only that he met your ex-fiancé, and that you’re going to Rio with your ex-fiancé.” Garrison’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I don’t think he should walk back the mile to your apartment. You should come pick him up.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there.”

  “Cool. Can you bring over some lasagna?” asked Garrison.

  “Lasagna! I want some!” yelled Cujo in the background as Sebastian heard the unmistakable sounds of World of Warcraft.

  “Yeah, if you can spare some lasagna, both Cujo and I would be very appreciative.”

  “Sure, I made enough. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” After Garrison said good-bye, Sebastian grabbed a large plastic container and scooped out big portions of the pasta. It didn’t take him long to pocket his keys, lock the apartment, and drive the mile or so to Garrison’s condo, a block away from the beach.

  After Sebastian pulled into visitor parking, he waited a second before getting out. Fuck. Why couldn’t he just come home? Sebastian locked the car, and raced up the two flights of exterior stairs to Garrison’s place to knock on the door.

  “Come in!”

  After Sebastian heard Garr’s voice, he stepped inside and squinted in the dark. The shades of the apartment had been pulled down and for good reason. Shirts, shorts, and shoes were scattered in several places. Garrison rarely picked up after himself, a Youngblood trait that Caleb apparently also inherited as the youngest son in the racing family. Sebastian was constantly putting dirty clothes in the hamper or the wash because Caleb would just leave clothes at odd places like the living room, bathroom, and hallway.

  Seated in the love seat, their eyes glued to the TV, were Garrison and Cujo. Both sat shirtless, their thighs touching as they both lurched, Cujo tapping hard on his game controller while Garr hollered. Cujo had bright red hair and a spread of freckles on his upper back. Garrison sat there transfixed on what was going in front of him. Cujo cussed while handling the console port and Garrison laughed. Garrison had light brown hair, like Caleb’s, but with the summer the usual dark brown gave way to dirty blond hair from the sun exposure and hours on the beach.

  “Hey, buddy!” Cujo offered a left-handed fist bump as his right hand managed to keep control of the buttons.

  Sebastian bumped Cujo and did the same for Garrison who barely turned his head to Sebastian. “Brought you dinner. I’ll put it on the kitchen counter.”

  “Caleb’s on the porch.”

  “Thanks,” said Sebastian. Garrison’s condo was at most fourteen hundred square feet, so it didn’t take long for Sebastian to walk past the gamers and head to the small, enclosed area, past the kitchen. Sebastian opened the glass sliding door, then stepped out in the small overhang, which overlooked South Atlantic Avenue, a row of condos, and, in the distance, the Atlantic Ocean.

  Caleb sat on a small lawn chair on the end, two feet away, his left foot flanked by a small portable Hibachi grill. Next to Caleb was a small table that had four—no—five empty hard lemonade bottles.

  “Hey,” whispered Caleb.

  “Hey, yourself,” Sebastian replied. “I texted you to say that dinner was ready.”

  “I know. I was going to text you back but I asked Garr to call you instead.”

  “Caleb, are you still mad about earlier?”

  Caleb shook his head. “I’m not mad. I was earlier, but I’m not now. You didn’t ask to get the assignment to go to Rio. Your station manager decided. I know you probably think I’m over-reacting.”

  “Well, I think you should give me the benefit of the doubt. I didn’t ask for the assignment, but it’s my job to be the cameraman. I’m not looking forward to being stuck with my ex.”

  “I hear what you’re saying. And if only I could rely on what’s going on in my head…I don’t know. I mean, yeah, logically, I shouldn’t be upset. Right? I mean it was so long ago.”

  Sebastian moved closer. “It was a long time ago. I don’t have the same feelings for him as I did.”

  “Then why does it still bother me?” Caleb shook his head as he spoke then lifted the bottle closest to him.

  “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.”

  “Yes, you should have. Maybe the fact that you didn’t tell me bothered me more than knowing you were engaged.”

  “I guess a part of me wanted to forget it happened. And it was only two days.” Sebastian watched Caleb for a moment and didn’t like the silence.

  “You keep stressing only. Only two days. Only engaged,” said Caleb. His voice trailed off on the last two words. “Is there anything else in the past, I should know?” His question was almost spoken like a prayer.

  “Not that I can think of.” Sebastian sighed. God, I hurt him big time.

  Sebastian wanted to say something for reassurance. He waited a moment before he offered, “My life’s a pretty open book. Ask me anything. I want to put this thing behind us.”

  Caleb kicked his legs out in front of him and exhaled. “I don’t want to think about it anymore. The more I think about it, the more it churns me up, and I don’t know why.” Caleb hyperextended his neck up and sighed. Again. “Fuck. I trust you, Sebastian. Promise me there’s nothing you’ll never tell me again?”

  “I promise.”

  “Then, it’s behind us.”

  Sebastian gulped, and his shoulders relaxed. Caleb didn’t stir but just looked out over the railing. “Hard lemonade?” asked Sebastian.

  “Yeah. I think Garr’s got some more in the fridge.”

  Sebastian’s head drooped. He knew the next statement he was going to make went to another issue he guessed troubled Caleb. “If you don’t want me to go to Rio, just say it.”

  “I’m not saying don’t go. If I told you not to go, then you’d resent me. I mean, it’s the fucking Olympics! I’d go if someone offered to pay me.”

  “And, I’m behind the camera. I’m not there to interview anyone for any freelance writing.”

  “Yeah, but still—”

  “It’s not the same.” Sebastian paused before he continued. “Okay. Tell me not to go, and I won’t,” whispered Sebastian.

  Caleb sat there in silence, then swigged the last drop in the bottle he drank. He hunched forward and then looked up at Sebastian. “No, you should go. I trust you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have made plans to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Sebastian moved close and took the bottle from Caleb’s hand, then knelt down, rubbed the back of Caleb’s hand on his face. “There’s no one I want to spend the rest of my life with, but you.” Sebastian kissed the hand and gazed at Caleb.

  “Thanks, sweetie.” Caleb smiled. They sat there on the small porch, watching the traffic go by below them.

  “Dinner back home’s getting cold. The garlic bread isn’t going to be as fresh as I’d like it to be.”

  “I’m sure supper is awesome. You want to take me home, now?

  “Yeah. Let’s do that. I want some serious cuddle time.”

  Chapter 3

  Caleb closed his eyes for a moment, one hand braced against the tile wall, underneath the showerhead, as the hot water comforted him. He opened his mouth and drank some of the water. When he heard footsteps, he turned and saw Sebastian undress through the curtain.

  “Okay for me to join you?” asked Sebastian, who moved the curtain off to the side as he stepped in, the metal from the shower rings clinked as they scraped on the rod.

  “Of course.” Caleb groaned. “Man, I had too many hard lemonades.”

  Sebastian placed himself behind Caleb, who moved the showerhead so that water fell on them both. When Sebastian’s hands circled Caleb’s waist, Caleb leaned back and accepted the loving embrace. Caleb wiped some water off his eyes. “Next time I act like an asshole, please tell me.”

  “You weren’
t. And it’s cute that you were a little jealous.”

  Sebastian stood on his toes for a second and placed his chin on Caleb’s shoulder, and rocked Caleb slowly.

  “Ugh. Stop, no rocking,” said Caleb as he laughed.

  “Okay,” said Sebastian.

  Caleb stopped chortling when Sebastian’s left hand tweaked one nipple and thumbed around the areola. Sebastian’s right index finger then circled the other nipple. “You’re a happy drunk. I love that,” whispered Sebastian. “Maybe tonight I’ll have my way with you.”

  Caleb guffawed. “Really? Like you don’t anyway?” Caleb turned around and faced Sebastian, who had smirked at Caleb’s comment. Caleb leaned in slightly and kissed Sebastian’s forehead, brushing the wet hair off Sebastian’s eyes. “I’m clay in your hands. Show me what you want me to do.”

  Sebastian kissed Caleb, darting his tongue in and out of Caleb’s mouth as Caleb moved his head a little to make it easier for both of them. Sebastian’s hand cupped Caleb’s glute then lingered before it made its intention known. A playful squeeze of Caleb’s was followed by Sebastian’s wandering soapy finger.

  “Hmmm. So is your plan to visit my demon hole?”

  “You mean your bruised bagel?” Sebastian laughed. “Your back door banana belly button?”

  “My winking Cyclops?” Caleb smiled as he spoke.

  “I love whatever name we call it.”

  Caleb moaned. “You want to use more than one finger and soap in there?”

  Sebastian kissed Caleb, leaning away to break the kiss, then answered. “You are one fucking hot sexy man.”

  Caleb grabbed Sebastian’s face back into his, with both hands, and kissed him, moving his body against Sebastian’s, and ground his hips on Sebastian’s. Caleb broke away to turn off the showerhead. “Did you soap me clean?”

  “Clean as a whistle.”

  Caleb pulled the shower curtain back and stepped over, offering his hand to Sebastian so he could leave the tub too. But rather than placing both feet on the small carpet, Sebastian threw his legs around Caleb’s waist and his arms around Caleb’s neck.